


The Feeling of Betrayal

by AstericLightning



Series: Trial and Error of a Jedi and a Spy [5]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Betrayal, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Kissing, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Partner Betrayal, Post-Star Wars: The Old Republic - Knights of the Eternal Throne, Romantic Fluff, Star Wars: The Old Republic - Knights of the Eternal Throne Spoilers, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:27:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24800809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstericLightning/pseuds/AstericLightning
Summary: RJ never thought for one second that Theron was the traitor.These next few weeks were hell for both of them.
Relationships: Jedi Knight | Hero of Tython & Theron Shan, Male Jedi Knight | Hero of Tython & Male Smuggler, Male Jedi Knight | Hero of Tython/Theron Shan, Male Outlander/Theron Shan, The Outlander/Theron Shan
Series: Trial and Error of a Jedi and a Spy [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1773304
Kudos: 11





	1. The Feeling of Betrayal, That I Can’t Seem to Shake

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Just want to say that while your reading this fanfic, there will be two chapters, the second one has nothing to do with the story but just my thought process with the whole thing.
> 
> Anyways, please do your part in what’s happening in the world, Yemen Crisis is happening and their civilization may be extinct soon. Slavery in Libya is still a thing. This is a movement so let’s do our best to stick together.
> 
> I do not own any of the Star Wars: the Old Republic characters. All official characters and stories that were in the game are owned by EA and BioWare. Star Wars is also owned by Disney and Lucasfilms. Ryo, is an OC that takes the role of the Hero as the Hero of Tython in this fanfic series. Palis, is an OC that takes the role as the Smuggler in this fanfic series. Any music used is not owned by me and belongs to their respective owners. Please support the official release.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter will introduce the Male Smuggler, Palis! He was mentioned in part 2 of Trial and Error of a Jedi and a Spy series, and is also RJ’s brother, who didn’t get the force.

They were right beyond that door. 

The traitor of the Alliance. The one that’s been leaking information to the Order. The one that sabotaged him on Iokath.

RJ had been stressing about this for weeks now. He knew there would come a time when someone was bound to betray them. The Alliance has been growing ever since the defeat of the Eternal Empire. He knew from before that a strong faction would have it’s betrayals.

He was getting really paranoid though. Theron would comfort him and Lana does her best to give him space sometimes. He felt like he couldn’t trust anyone at this point. When he was alone and no one would be in his sight, he would have a mental breakdown.

This was his _job_ . He had to be strong, he was the Commander of the goddamn Eternal Alliance. His first guess on the traitor was Jace Malcom, Theron’s father. It was _extremely_ awkward, but he knew that Malcom stood for the Republic. The Eternal Alliance was run by the literal Hero of Tython, he couldn’t have done it.

Theron and Lana were the main two suspects. It hurt to distance himself with his allies, especially his boyfriend Theron. He had to be professional about this though, something didn’t feel right.

The door opened and no one was there. RJ cursed under his breath before walking towards the empty space. Something wasn’t right. 

“They’re gone.” 

“That’s impossible.” Lana’s unamused tone appears as she starts to look around the deck. “According to the signal, they’re still on the convoy..”

RJ hears a gun and immediately turns around, his eyes widen as he sees Theron, holding a gun straight at him. 

Theron’s joking, he’s gotta be joking. Theron wouldn’t shoot him. He's his boyfriend.

“NO!” Lana steps in front of RJ before taking the hit, the gunshot that Theron pulled.

_No. Fuck. Please no._

Ringing enters his head. The last thing he heard was Theron explaining his motives. RJ couldn’t listen with the ringing in his ears. His palms are too sweaty, that he couldn’t even wield a lightsaber without getting himself hurt.

“Did you ever love me? Or was that all an act to.”

“You know I love you, but this is bigger than the both of us.”

This was a nightmare. RJ could barely hold on to reality. Every time RJ feels unconscious, he feels like fainting or blacking out and every time he feels conscious, he wants to throw up.

“I guess, we’re over.” RJ looked away, he couldn’t bare to look at him anymore. 

“I guess it is. I wish it didn’t have to end this way. At least I can start new with Vinn Atrius..” 

RJ closed his eyes, refusing to respond to Theron. His eyes are dull and he bends down to check on Lana. Theron’s leaving him for a fucking _cyborg_. Surprisingly that hurt the least. Maybe the fact that his close friend might be dead and his boyfriend betrayed him. That was just the icing on top.

“Thirty seconds to impact. This is goodbye.”

No response came from RJ, he could see the corners of his eyes. He doesn’t recognize Theron anymore. He looks so vicious and hostile. It doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel like the Theron he knew.

“Not gonna say a word Commander?”

“Get out.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“30 seconds until the ship will crash, get out.”

“Are you, Commander, mocking me?”

“If one of us gets to live then it should be you. I was a fool to ever love you.” RJ admits.

He doesn’t dare to look at Theron in the eyes. He could hear footsteps start to walk away, and then it suddenly stopped. RJ felt someone, no doubt Theron looking at him from behind, before he starts walking again. RJ opens his eyes to see Lana slowly standing him.

“Lana! Theron escaped.”

“We need to survive long enough to make Theron pay. JUMP!” Lana instructed, looking at the broken window as she signaled RJ to join her. He follows her and jumps out the window. Landing on the rough dirt of Umbara.

When RJ finally recovered he goes to the nearest bush and starts to throw up. He’s ashamed to admit this but he does have a fear of heights. Jumping out of a ship didn’t help with that. 

“Commander? Are you okay?”

“Nope.” RJ finally finished what was left of his lunch before using his arm to wipe his lips.

“My boyfriend just tried to kill me.” RJ pauses before looking down. “Well my uh.. my ex.”

“I’m sorry to hear that Commander.” Lana starts off, patting RJ’s shoulder as comfort. RJ sighs before standing up. He hated this part, continuing on when he felt like shit. First time was when his former lover was killed on Tython. Then it was Master Orgus who was killed in front of his eyes. Now it was Theron. He had to stop him now.

They start running towards the ship that Theron’s using to go off world. He summons his orange lightsaber ready to stop him. 

“This is over Theron!”

“No. This is just the beginning.” Theron implies. Before revealing the spider droid hidden under the ship. 

RJ isn’t focused. He’s making more mistakes then a rookie padawan. Lana notices and tells RJ to go back, but he refuses. He takes a swing to take out one of the legs, but notices Theron’s still at visual distance, watching the whole thing.

He slips and is caught off guard. Long enough for the droid to pierce his chest with one of it’s legs. Blood rushing down his chest and from his mouth. The ringing gets to his head again before looking at the sky. His eyes are lifeless and could only see the dark, night sky as a ship leaves the atmosphere of this planet.

——-

RJ opens his eyes before looking around the area. This was not Odessen and it’s not his ship. This ship looks more advanced, a wider one that only a smuggler could have. 

RJ looks around once more and starts to stand up. Looking around for his clothes and weapons. He holds the side of the wall for leverage. He was not familiar with this ship, what if he had been captured by some cult, or some group. But he was healed though, maybe they were friendly? He starts walking until he notices multiple shadows near what appears to be a Holocom.

“Will he live?”

“Shut up and let him rest. I didn’t bring you here to worry.”

“I have the right to worry Lana. Last time I checked this was my ship.” The man starts rambling. “ I don’t know why you picked Taris out of all planets.”

RJ wants to intervene but they seem friendly, the man talking did look familiar. If Lana was there then they must be alright. He turned around, continuing to lean towards the wall before walking again. Even if they weren’t a threat he’d need to find his lightsabers. He needed to be cautious. How could he trust them, who could he trust at this point?

He finally found the storage room and started fumbling around. He noticed the box full of RJ’s belongings and looks around before putting his clothes back on.

“Going somewhere?” RJ freezes, he turns around to the horror of his face. This wasn’t someone from the Alliance he had seen. She seemed aggressive, a Zabrak, one that looked like your average Imperial, holding a fighting stance.

“You’re a bounty hunter.” RJ points out, summoning his lightsabers as the other draws out her tech staff.

“Akaavi. Stand down.” 

“Captain, we barely know them and you brought him on the ship, This is the thanks we get?” She snarls. RJ retracts his lightsaber before muttering a sorry.

“Long time no see, brother.” RJ looks up to see the mysterious shadow reveal himself. The famous Republican smuggler Palis. The one who defeated Voidwolf. The one that took his ship back from Skaven, the Smuggler that was heavily involved in the Battle of the Underworld.

“Hey Palis.” RJ waves before leaning against the wall for comfort. His chest was _throbbingly painful._

“My apologies. I didn’t know you were related to the Hero of Tython.”

“It’s kind of hard to brag when I didn’t get the force.” Palis chuckles a bit before walking up to RJ. “Could it kill to call once in a while?”

“Discuss that later. What happened while I was knocked out Lana?”

“Well.” Lana starts off, “Theron thinks you're dead, the rest of the Alliance just think you’re offworld.” 

“I’m alive, I’ll return to the Alliance just fine.”

“Except, maybe you shouldn’t.” Lana suggests. Which catches RJ off guard. What sort of plan was Lana thinking of that prevented RJ from telling people he was fine?

“Only we know that you’re alive. If Theron and the rest of the Order think you’re dead, it’s possible we can strike them down without them noticing.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” RJ asked.

“We don’t know if they still have eyes on us. If they believe you’re dead, we could come up with a surprise attack.” Lana informs. RJ is skeptical but obliges. He has nothing to lose at this point. His former lover has betrayed him. T7 and Rusk are out on a mission so they would be gone for a few weeks, and the rest of his crew are still MIA and yet to be found. 

“That’s where I come in.” Palis steps forward. He looks at RJ and smiles before patting his back. This was _weird_. On so many levels. Palis was his brother, and yet they’re _different_. While both show their loyalty to the Republic, RJ is a Jedi Knight and his brother was a highly popular Smuggler. He had tried to recruit Palis into the Alliance during its early stages but had no luck once he realized that his entire crew went undercover for the protection of Risha Drayen, his wife and RJ’s sister in law.

“What’s your role?” 

“I’ll be the temporary Secondary Commander under Lana. Which means I’ll give a piece of _my mind_ when I talk to that asshole that dumped you.” Palis grins and RJ lets out a nervous laugh. His brother was smooth as butter when talking, when he’s angry though, he could get hostile. 

“You should get some rest. Those injuries were severe.” Lana commented, looking at the bandages around RJ’s body. Lana took RJ’s arm and decided to put it around her shoulder as she walked him towards the medical room. He gave a small wave before laying down on the cold, used bed.

This was a reality. What Theron really said was true. He was gone now, everything, all those memories felt empty now.

Their first kiss on Rishi. Their first hookup on Yavin 4. Their first date on Coruscant. The first time they said, “I love you,” on Odessen. Even their first slow dance together, RJ kept asking himself when it was lies. When did he stop loving him. 

_"It's not the first problem we've faced, and it wouldn't be the last."_

_“I incorporated my moves in the field for today. Was that song meant for someone?”_

_“We should do this more. Watching stars I mean.”_

_“You know, I’ll fight by your side. Until I retire, with you I hope.”_

RJ couldn’t help but cry. Every single memory with Theron started to hurt. He felt betrayed, he felt like his world was ending. Theron was one of his main motivations for peace in the galaxy. Now he barely knows what he’s fighting for now. Maybe he’s being overdramatic, and he’ll be more rational later, but the fact that the wound is still fresh, metaphorically and literally.

Part of him still had hope for Theron. That this was all just a part of the spy’s plan. He would be running home to him and they’d accomplish their dreams and goals together. A small part of him still grasped on to the hope that those memories were real, he was real.

“May I come in?” RJ glanced to see the hidden shadow. The woman walked in, her stance was snarky and sassy. She wasn’t the Bounty Hunter that RJ almost fought, he simply waved once he realized who it was.

“We haven’t properly met.” The woman smiles before taking a seat next to the bed that RJ was resting in. He simply waves before grabbing a medical pac and injecting himself with the vitals. He hissed at the needle reaching in towards the injury, it was definitely going to scar. 

“Ryo Jali, Commander of the Eternal Alliance.” He reaches his hand out for the woman to take it.

“Risha Drayen, Princess of Dubrillion. My husband’s your brother, that makes me your sister in law.” She gladly takes it and shakes RJ’s hand. 

“Apologies for not going to the wedding, I was trapped in carbonite for a few years.”

“You aren’t the first family member to have done that.” Risha jokes, RJ awkwardly laughs before staring at the ceiling of the ship. 

“Listen, we barely know each other, but I overheard what happened from Lana.” Risha starts off. “You must’ve been blindsided.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you.” 

“Are you going to tell me I’ll be okay and then I’ll find another. That I’ll be just fine?” RJ asks, glancing towards Risha who’s looking right at him. 

_God RJ hated small talk._

“I’m not saying that you should give up, but it seems like you’ve lost your way.” Risha explains. Which catches RJ’s attention. He slowly sits up to stare at his sister in law.

“This man, Theron. He was your everything?”

“Yes.” RJ mutters out. He tried to say more but couldn’t bring out the words that he wanted to say, only muttering a small response to Risha’s question.

“You must feel lost and empty.” 

“Where are you getting at?” RJ asks. “I don’t want to be rude, I’m just curious.”

“Think rationally. Don’t let your emotions get in the way.” Risha’s lecture continues, as she starts to stand up from the seat she was in.

“Who you love is your compliment, not a missing piece, he doesn’t define you.” Risha finishes before walking out of the hangar. RJ is left dumbfounded.

She was right after all. RJ was blindsided when Theron left him, to the the point that he’s been blind every moment after that. He was the Alliance Commander, he had a job to do that started without Theron and will have to continue without him.

RJ decides to go back and rest for the night. He will always care about Theron but right now, he has to be professional about this.

—-

“I’ve never put on a Mandalorian outfit before.”

“Shut up.” Akaavi comments before leaving to give RJ privacy. 

She wasn’t the nicest person RJ had met, but she certainly wasn’t the worst one he had encountered. That title would belong to SCORPIO. 

It had been a few days since RJ’s disappearance and today he was going back to the Alliance undercover as a Mandalorian. He reluctantly agreed to go undercover wearing a suit that Palis found in the storage facility of his ship. The few days he was there, he had bonded with some of his brother’s crew mates.

Corso was friendly and reminded him of Doc, without the flirting. He has a nice heart and was loyal to the Captain everyday. They were practically neighbors ever since Risha decided to stay in the same hangar as Palis so him and Lana could have their own room of privacy. Lana would check upon him occasionally before leaving to discuss a plan with Palis and Risha. They had given RJ these past few days to rest from his injuries. 

Bowdarr was alright, he liked the Wookiee and was amazing in combat from watching him train. He offered to train with him once RJ’s injuries were fully healed. He didn’t really like RJ’s pacifist nature at first but he might be coming around.

Akaavi only spoke to him about the battles he faced and the hardships he dealt with. RJ would usually tell stories of his work as a Jedi. Fighting the Emperor, a few Sith Lords, Scourge. She would kill him and deny it if he ever told anyone, but she definitely was a fan of the story of his fight with Revan.

Risha was surprisingly the nicest one. She was sassy and made remarks but in the end had a gentle personality. They didn’t really talk much as her and Palis, would be discussing plans.

Out of all of them, surprisingly the one he bonded with the most was Guss Tuno. The young Padawan that didn’t agree with the Jedi Code. He was with him most of the time and RJ couldn’t help but teach him a few of his tricks. If Palis were to allow him, he’d train Guss to complete his training. That was a talk for another time though, as of now he taught Guss simple force tricks he could use. He thought about teaching Guss to force persuade, but he’d be screwing a lot of people over if he did so.

He would just be among the ranks as a simple Bounty Hunter. That way, RJ would know what was going on while keeping his identity a secret. There was only one problem.

He doesn’t know how to shoot a blaster.

The blaster was a prop but if an ambush attack happened on Odessen, A Mandalorian wielding a lightsaber would be unexpected.

He lied, there was another problem. With Palis being in charge of Alliance, he has to _call_ Theron. He was pretty pissed when he found out about the betrayal, at least that was what Risha told him. This could go so many ways.

Once they land RJ puts on his helmet and walks off the ship, escorting Palis and Lana as backup. They were going to the Holocom and are about to contact Theron.

Theron.

It had been a few days since the betrayal. And it was still fresh, but RJ had to move on. He couldn’t mope, wishing it could get better. He needed to be better, he needed time to grieve of course. But at the end of the day, Theron wasn’t his missing piece.

No one will ever be, because RJ’s true happiness has to come from himself, and whoever he loves will make RJ happy to, but it shouldn’t be his dependent. That’s what he learned from Palis crew and it was nice lesson for him to learn. Deep down though, he still missed Theron and he probably will for the rest of his life.

Just because RJ is finding his happiness within himself, doesn’t mean he lost those feelings for Theron. He missed him, Theron meant a lot to him, RJ just had to accept that Theron might not feel the same way anymore.

Maybe it was the fact that RJ will be watching Theron speak to Lana and Palis, without his permission, he feels a little bad about eavesdropping.

“Are you ready?” Palis asks RJ. He’s wearing a helmet so it was clear that none of them could tell what RJ was feeling right now. RJ simply nodded before Lana entered Theron’s frequency.

His palms are sweaty, his legs feel like noodles. Was he ready? This isn’t really a confrontation between them, but was he ready to even _hear_ him?

_Act calm RJ, It’ll be alright._

“HOW COULD YOU LET HIM DIE!” Theron screamed from his ship. RJ is caught off guard and steps forward by instinct. Chainwire puts a hand to his side, signaling RJ to stop moving.

“It’s your fault, why are you so mad about it?”

“He was my…” Theron paused. “I loved him.”

“Yet you left him for another man?” 

“I only said that to hurt him.”

“You were going to kill us in the crash. You accomplished your goal.” Lana remarks, Theron’s eyes widen before he shakes his head.

“You're lying, he’s alive, I know it.” 

“He’s dead.” Palis finally starts talking. Theron looks at Palis. His eyes are glistening, it’s noticeable even through the Holocom. 

Maybe there was still hope for Theron?

“Who are you?”

“Palis, occasional Smuggler and the new Eternal Alliance Commander.” Palis bluffs. RJ could tell he’s lying, but it’s not obvious to most people. He’s worried though that Theron will notice, being a former Republic SIS spy.

“I want to speak to the real Commander.” Theron snaps, standing up from where he was at.

“He’s dead goddammit.” Palis slams the desk which startled RJ and Lana. 

“You. You did this to him. You took my brother away from me, his crew and everyone that loved him.” Palis’s eyes are full of rage. RJ swore he saw a fake teardrop forming from his eye. 

That son of a bitch could act.

RJ was uncomfortable the whole time, hearing Theron like this made him leave mid-conversation. He hoped to the force that Theron didn’t notice. He wasn’t ready for this, to hear Theron still cared for him. Sure he found that a little reassuring, but with the circumstances it just made RJ uncomfortable.

So much for trying to move on.

—

It had been 2 weeks without Theron. Frankly being a Mandalorian was not that bad. Bowdaar and Corso had been teaching RJ how to shoot and he was getting the hang of it. In secret when they’re at the ship, he sparrs with Akaavi and Guss. They had taken a liking to him and his strength.

He was flying in a private shuttle with Lana for their next mission going on. Apparently Theron might be a double agent after he leaked the coordinates of the ancient machine god Zildrog towards the Alliance. Lana was accompanying him this time, while Palis and his crew would be going to Nathema as a distraction for Lana and RJ.

Thanks to his brother, RJ and Lana were able to sneak around and make it without getting injured. Both of them were at the coordinates when he notices that this isn’t where the machine was.

Lana draws out her lightsaber and RJ is startled. His eyes widen and spots Theron with his hands up, using one of his hands to throw his blaster at the floor.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Theron pleads, as he goes on his knees. “I-he.. he was my everything.”

RJ noticed under his helmet, the dry tears that Theron had. His eyes were red and they were baggy. His clothes were a mess and his hair,

God what the fuck happened to his hair.

It was an act of instinct. Each step was another rush of memories that RJ had, that RJ felt. He always loved Theron, he always will. Every time they said I love you to each other. Every time they made each other laugh. Every time they held each other because one or both of them were sad. They all came rushing down for RJ.

He hugged Theron tightly, he was shaking, they both were. RJ could feel Theron’s arms wrap around his. His helmet fell off when he hugged Theron, so he saw RJ, he saw RJ alive. No words came out, just whispers and pleads of apologies from both sides.

When they finished hugging Theron cupped RJ’s face, and RJ could see Theron tearing up.

This was new.

“Your haircut’s stupid.” RJ couldn’t help but point out, trying to lighten the mood. Theron starts to squish his face as his adorable puppy face turns into a frown. RJ laughed as he leaned in, their foreheads touching.

“I lied. I lied about leaving you for someone else. I knew you would escape and I didn’t want you to keep chasing me.” Theron starts off, looking down. “When I saw you get hurt, and when you never appeared on Odessen, I believed that you were..” Theron couldn’t finish that sentence. RJ lifts his chin up before leaning in to kiss Theron.

He missed this feeling, the feeling of Theron’s lips against his. The feeling of his arms around him, his muscles brushing against RJ’s. He missed everything about Theron in general.

RJ was the first to release from the kiss. Theron’s eyes are soft and RJ could tell that Theron was in a lot of pain, emotionally. They both were. Both of them suffered through hell these past few weeks.

“I forgive you.” RJ is about to lean in again before they hear a cough from behind. He freezes midway and curses under his breath. He forgot Lana was there watching the whole thing.

“Sorry to ruin this moment but we have a mission to accomplish.” Lana interrupts. RJ and Theron look at each other before standing up. They were just glad that Lana gave them more than 30 seconds to reunite.

—

“So, I guess we have similar scars now.” Theron jokes around as he starts flying the shuttle to the Republic Fleet. They accomplished their mission but Vinn Atrius stabbed Theron when he was shutting down the power source. RJ was able to save him but it left a scar. It was ironic since both of them gained a scar from being stabbed.

“Why are you taking me to the Republic fleet?”

“I just want to redo something.”

RJ had no idea what Theron was talking about. He had been acting off since his marriage proposal back on Odessen. It was out of nowhere but when the topic was brought up, Theron proposed. 

Kind of.

RJ brought the idea up and Theron proposed out of nowhere. It was really unexpected, ever since then Theron’s been acting strange. It wasn’t because he had returned to the Alliance after his fake betrayal. He’s been trying to hide something in a more, fun way, a surprise if some sorts.

When they enter the Republic fleet, Theron sits down at a table in the cantina. RJ could tell this was the specific table Theron was in when they had their first real conversation.

(Listen to this song. I know sometimes music videos could be distracting when reading so I’m using a theme. This time, listen to this song while reading the rest of the fanfic.

[ https://youtu.be/lk0gm_Z81bE ](https://youtu.be/lk0gm_Z81bE) )

“Remember when we first met?” Theron asked. “It was at this spot.”

“Actually it was in a different room, you said you needed a drink and you came here.” RJ corrects him, smiling at his flustered boyfriend.

“It was a trick question.”

“Mhm.” RJ sits down and grabs Theron’s hand. “Are we allowed here? We’re not allied with the Republic.”

“I had a few contacts allow us to be here for a few minutes.”

RJ’s confused but smiles at the thought of being with Theron again, it felt like the good old days when they were tracking Revan down. When they had just forged alliances with the Sith to make sure the Emperor isn’t resurrected.

“I told you back then that the Jedi has their rules, I never really thought you’d break them.” Theron admits, rubbing his thumb on RJ’s hand.

“Well you won my heart over Theron Shan. You won it before I was in carbonite.”

Theron smiles and stands up before tugging RJ’s hand to stand up to. RJ is confused yet again but smiles as he follows Theron’s lead.

“I know the Jedi Order won’t allow you to ever be in love but. I love you and I know that you love me too.”

Theron goes on one knee before pulling a small box out of his pocket. He looks at RJ and he could feel the blood rushing on his face.

“I’m tired of worrying about the future, because I know my future is with you.” Theron pauses as he tightens his hand on RJ’s. “Jedi Code, or any other person we’re up against. I want to face it with you, love.”

“Theron Shan, are you redoing your proposal?” RJ grins and he could see Theron starts to chuckle, the skin in his face turning into a rosed red.

“I wanted to do a better proposal then the one I did on Odessen.” Theron’s grinning before he stops to cough, in order to fix his throat. 

“RJ. Hero of Tython. Alliance Commander, and the love of my life. Will you make me the happiest man in the galaxy, and,” Theron opens up the box to reveal a ring with a blue crystal. 

“Marry me?”

Holy shit. It’s old and kind of broken apart but he can tell that was his first crystal from his first lightsaber back on Tython. He’ll have to ask about that later.

“You know my answer.” RJ smiles before bringing Theron in for a kiss.

A new chapter, between Theron and RJ. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen in the future but one thing’s for sure.

Planning their wedding is about to be their toughest challenge yet.


	2. The Feelings Through All This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My thought process about this.

Hey! This is LamentedLight and I’m here to talk about the past chapter, if you’re only interested in that chapter then you don’t need to see this. It’s completely optional.

This chapter hit really close to me, as it followed a similar experience that I have witnessed.

The truth is each fanfic is based off true experiences I or my friends have faced.

I don’t consider their relationship to be similar to RJ and Theron, but it hit me because I’ve _seen_ something like this. Where the other person betrays them and leaves them for another.

It gave me inspiration of some parts to write this one off fanfic, only some parts, not their whole relationship, otherwise it’d probably be more depressing if that was the case.

The first fanfic I wrote about Theron and RJ took 2 hours. And it was about loyalty. Theron looking through RJ’s stuff to get to know him, was a real experience I witnessed. Trust issues and lack of communication. Between both parties, I wrote a happy ending for that fanfic.

The second fanfic, the date on Coruscant. Symbolized the fluff and new beginnings that my friends and I faced.The idea was that their date would be them being happy and having a good time and it’s something I missed with my friend group. Beginnings were when everyone was at their happiest, when there was no drama, when everyone was happy.

Under the Stars of Odessen dealt with jealousy. This stage is things that happened overall in my friend group, RJ inviting new people into the Alliance reminded me of my friends making new friends and sometimes the old friends would feel jealous.

Theron’s character is jealous of Lord Cytharat for being around RJ. I don’t want to get too in depth but, in real life that situation didn’t go well. In that fanfic, RJ and Theron work it out, and it’s something I wished happen to the people around me.

A Break on Rishi had inspiration that was different. It went from an argument to a date and I guess I didn’t really know why until now. The truth is when there’s drama, for some perculiar reason, when there’s beef. It all goes away when all of us are at parties. It felt strange and unusual, I guess I had that mind set since it happened for years. The thing is though, it doesn’t feel like we moved on, it just felt like we paused. RJ and Theron atleast had a reason that solved the conflict in that fanfic.

This one is the most personal. The betrayal reminded me of my friend, when she was betrayed by her boyfriend, multiple times.

RJ got stabbed which didn’t happen in the original game. Atleast in this encounter, it was suppose to symbolize scars that appear from relationship problems, that it won’t necessarily leave a person anytime soon, that they can only just fade, but it’d always be there.

I added the Smuggler class storyline because in my Legacy system they were brothers. RJ and Palis. Everything Risha said to RJ was me or my friends telling her that he shouldn’t be her main source of happiness and that she needs to find happiness in herself more.

It’s a tough experience to be a witness for years. Tougher for the victim, it just feels wrong that any advice given never helps.

That’s why I had the Smuggler companions help RJ throughout the 2 and a half weeks, since at the time in that expansion, half of the Jedi Knight’s companions were still missing. I would want the day that my friends and I could help her out of this relationship, because it’s so toxic. I feel terrible talking about this, so I don’t want to get in depth because it’s so much worse then anyone thinks. I’m not saying her name for privacy reasons.  
  
She’s a good person, just stubborn.

I feel terrible talking about this. Then again I’m just one person in a world full of billions of humans. It’s highly unlikely anyone will find this story from my area since they all have no idea about this game.

I guess I’m saying this because I feel so tired. I feel like I only wrote these fanfics to believe, and hopefully help others believe that love is real. But it feels like I’m fooling myself. To see a healthy relationship blossom with problems that both parties will face.

I don’t know, maybe because it’s been going on for 6 years and every attempt at helping feels wasted.

I’m gonna be making more parts and there should atleast be 6-8 more parts to the end Trials and Error of a Jedi and a Spy. But it won’t be the last time we get stories between RJ and Theron. 

This’ll probably be the last time I talk about this. But I want you guys to know I appreciate you all reading this. I don’t know who really reads these fanfics, it’s been 3 years since I last wrote, and I’m not counting my failed Glee attempt.

I guess, feel free to do whatever you want, if you like the fanfic, thank you for that. If you don’t it’s okay. I appreciate you all for even clicking.

Stay safe.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to go to the next chapter, it has nothing to do with the story so it’s optional.


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